And the set of very strange bad doctor’s notes…
…continued from Part I:
More Real Notes from Actual Patient Charts:
- Patient was alert and unresponsive.
- Examination reveals a well-developed male lying in bed with his family in no distress.
- Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
- She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce.
- I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
- Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
- Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
- The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
- The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead.
- Skin: Somewhat pale but present.
- Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
- Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
- Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
- By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.
- I have suggested that he loosen his pants before standing, and then, when he stands with the help of his wife, they should fall to the floor.
- The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to dispose of him.
- She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.
- The patient experienced sudden onset of severe shortness of breath with a picture of acute pulmonary edema at home while having sex which gradually deteriorated in the emergency room.
- Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
- The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.
- Since she can’t get pregnant with her husband, I thought you would like to work her up.
- Coming from Detroit, this man has no children.
- Many years ago the patient had frostbite of the right shoe.
- The bugs that grew out of her urine were cultured in Casualty and are not available. I WILL FIND THEM!!!
- The patient left the hospital feeling much better except for her original complaints.
- When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.