List o’ Bad Doctors Notes II

And the set of very strange bad doctor’s notes…

…continued from Part I:

More Real Notes from Actual Patient Charts:

1. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
2. Examination reveals a well-developed male lying in bed with his family in no distress.
3. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
4. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce.
5. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
6. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

 

1. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
2. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
3. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead.
4. Skin: Somewhat pale but present.

1. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
2. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
3. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
4. By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.
5. I have suggested that he loosen his pants before standing, and then, when he stands with the help of his wife, they should fall to the floor.

 

1. The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to dispose of him.
2. She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.
3. The patient experienced sudden onset of severe shortness of breath with a picture of acute pulmonary edema at home while having sex which gradually deteriorated in the emergency room.
4. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.

1. The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.
2. Since she can’t get pregnant with her husband, I thought you would like to work her up.
3. Coming from Detroit, this man has no children.
4. Many years ago the patient had frostbite of the right shoe.
5. The bugs that grew out of her urine were cultured in Casualty and are not available. I WILL FIND THEM!!!
6. The patient left the hospital feeling much better except for her original complaints.
7. When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.