These are actual notes from patient charts written by doctors. So apparently, while it is important to go to school for quite a long time to learn things like biology, anatomy, pharmacology and the like, English grammar and communication are apparently not high on the list. Not too surprising given the average doctors’ handwriting, the age old joke. However, you also can’t forget the other old joke…:
What do you call the person who graduates at the bottom of their class in medical school?… Answer: …Doctor.
Here is a list of actual doctor’s written notes on patient’s charts:
- She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
- Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
- The patient was examined, X-rated and sent home.
- On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
- The patient is tearful and crying constantly. salem home rentals . She also appears to be depressed.
- The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
- Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
- Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
- The patient refused autopsy.
- The patient has no previous history of suicides.
- Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
- She is numb from her toes down.
- The skin was moist and dry.
- The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut, and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.
- Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
- The patient lives at home with his mother, father and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week.
- Patient’s past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
- The pelvic examination will be done later on the floor.
- Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing.
- The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.